How Death Metal Works

[jxlxz]

Brutal Metalhead-.... Doesn't the name explain enough?.... BRUTAL.. Metalhead?... God you are stupid. Anyways, the Brutal Metalheads are the guys that sadistically traumatized your dad, and then murdered his dog in the 90's, They are LARGE and bulky people with hair reaching to their ass with a band T-shirt and army boots and pants, that usually are seen hanging out alone or with their band, They ONLY listen to Brutal Death Metal and Grindcore, the music is basically the most hated, heavy and brutal form of music and at times are just PURE noise Such as Anal Cunt, and at times some other metal genres. They feed on flesh and guts of (Read: get taken the piss out of by)chavs(Read: get taken the piss out of by), Posers, deathcore faggots, faggots, and people they don't like, unlike the Death/Black Metalhead, the Brutal Metalhead insults EVERYONE on the internet, even other metalheads if they are posers or like deathcore, Though their insults are very accurate, their hobbies include Raping virgins, killing mallgoths/Nu-metalheads, making capes out of mallcore/emo skin and eating kittens. They are also in the superior leaders in the war Against the Mallcores/Nu-Metalheads and chavs(like to think they are at war but the people they claim to be at war with have no idea they even exist). They also don't get along well with Black Metalheads. Brutal Death Metal / Grindcore Bands: Cannibal Corpse, Meshuggah, Skinless, Defeated Sanity, Carcass, Exhumed, Suffocation, Dying Fetus, Napalm Death, Insect Warfare, Nile, Vader, Devourment, Abominable Putridity, and Katalepsy.

Goregrind/Pornogrind Metalhead - Brutal Metalheads on speed. It is suggested that you avoid them, as they can survive a full wrath onslaught from Chuck Norris much longer than any mortal, and can take a strong hit of Charlie Sheen. In 2006, the Axis of Evil™ estimated that there are about five Goregrind/Pornogrind Metalheads in the world population. Unfortunately, they have all met each other and one of them is female, however they teach, train and breed new ones to increase their ranks. Statistics show that in 2002, there was only the Hallowed 5. In 2005 they'd reached 26 and in a burst of change, it was estimated a total of 1047 by 2007. Goregrind/pornogrind Metalheads can be found raping scene chicks in the middle of the mall in broad daylight. Goregrind/Pornogrind bands include Last Days of Humanity, GUT, Cock and Ball Torture, Jig-Ai, Regurgitate, Carcass (pre-Heartwork), Decomposing Serenity, XXX Maniak, Rompeprop, and The Day Everything Became Nothing.

The famous five goregrind/pornogrind metalheads.... and one of them is female.... lol

[jollythecat]

no way, that shit is just too funny.    

i especially relate to the "raping scene chicks in broad daylight" part, i do that all the time.    

It is suggested that you avoid them

  

[Decaying In Putrescence]

AWESHUM!